Define your personal Values, Purpose, for more Meaning
April 24, 2021
Personal Responsibility – Are You Operating Above Or Below The Line?
May 10, 2021
It’s been a really tough 12 months for a lot of people, and I know that a lot of people out there are struggling in some ways but this is also an incredible opportunity for personal growth. The famous spiritual teacher Ekhart Tolle says that the profound challenges are often the things that create the conditions for personal growth.
This week, we’ll talk about the idea of Rigid Authenticity. This is the idea that our fixed idea of who we are at our core is limiting our ability to change and grow. I also put forward a way of thinking about who you are that can free you up for growth and transformation at different times during your life.
When you have a positive self identity that isn’t fix to material or physical things we get the following benefits:
- Self confidence
- Less stress
- Higher self-esteem
- Self Efficacy
But when that sense of authenticity goes too far and we start getting the rigid aspects it starts to hold us back from growth, it’s hard to change, we get decreased opportunities to grow and it’s difficult to let go of the things that hold us back.
Your Identity
So what we are aiming for is a way of thinking about who we are that enables us to continually grow in life as things change around us. This will cultivate those positive aspects of self confidence, self identity and a really clear sense of who you are.
If you come from a place of a rigid identity what happens is that you find it difficult to start to let go when circumstances change and you find it difficult to allow yourself to grow and be someone different.
There are 3 Aspects Of Self and how they link to Identity
Consciousness – defines our personality, interests and who we are. These are the basic seeds of our DNA that can grow given the right context. Our consciousness sits over the outside and envelopes our minds and our bodies. It’s the part of us that never changes.
Mind – all the emotions and thinking and all the chatter that we have on a daily basis. It loves to think about our past, worry about the future. Our challenge is to be completely present in our identity as our mind and emotions can flip and change all the time. Imagine if we believe our identity is our mind? That would send us crazy!
Body – our physical grounded self.
The way I define identity is the consciousness part of us. It’s that aspect of what that brings our mind and body alive in a certain way that tunes in to you uniquely. The reality is that the consciousness base is a piece of you that never changes, while everything does – our possessions, our things, our bodies change over time.
If we think about our minds, the thinking and emotions are changing all the time – it’s a never ending stream of consciousness that is moving in and out. And if we think of that as who we are, it’s a recipe for anxiety because there is nothing solid you can hang to.
If we assign or think of our identity as something physical, something to do with our bodies and minds. When it’s changing all the time that’s really difficult because there’s nothing solid we can hold on to. And if we go back to this concept it doesn’t really give us a firm basis or understanding that the consciousness piece of us is there all the time and if that’s who we are it allows us to continue to evolve over time and over our lifetimes.
The evolutionary purpose of who we are is to continue to evolve and grow as a person.
When you are face with a situation where it’s hard, what thoughts and feelings go through your mind?
And if it’s your mind that is responding to it rather than that higher sense of what and who you are, often what will happen is that you’ll get this response of saying “I can’t do that, that’s not who I am”.
What I would rather is we start to ask ourselves a question of that very relaxed sense of that part of us who never changes. If it feels true for us it’s kind of okay to let go and move forward. Something I’ve learned over the last 12 months is that this has been really hard – the power of mindfulness practice, and what it does is it stops us fighting against our own minds and consciousness. It allows us to accept the randomness of our mind and see where and not respond to it or react.
A lot of Buddhist proponents of mindfulness what they do is they say there are four parts of consciousness but let’s discuss the main two:
Seed Consciousness – in our consciousness there’s a whole lot of seeds which stores pain and sorrow, and positive emotions like peace and joy. And at certain times in our lives these manifest into our conscious mind.
Mental formations – these are manifestations into our conscious mind which come into our minds and they leave. And what we often do is to avoid that thinking we put up some walls in our consciousness. Or what we do is use drugs and distractions to avoid those thoughts.
The power of mindfulness is we can be present and mindful, present with those formations as they appear and look after them, accept them. Over time what will happen is they will come up and receive back down to the deeper part of the consciousness.
I think it’s an amazing concept, that for me has cemented the power of having some sort of mindfulness meditation practice and being able to manage that, especially when things are being difficult and you are asked to change.
Summary
1. Be careful around the idea of authenticity because it has a negative side to it which is “this is who I am and I don’t change, thank you very much!” – that’s rigid authenticity. What we want to do is capture the positive aspects of that which is being that deep sense of who we are as a spirit but also growing over time and growing throughout your lifetime.
2. Who you are is very much that consciousness level, it’s not the physical level. And if we get caught up in all the physical things, they’re always changing and if we’re connected to those in terms of our identity it’s a really difficult place to allow continued change and development throughout our lives.
3. Mindfulness practice really helps us manage strong emotions, thoughts and feelings as they come up and into our minds and help them see and allow us to be much more present in our lives.
Leave me a comment or Get in Touch
Hope that’s been useful for you. If you want to talk about your team. Send me a message or leave me a comment down below.
Talk to you soon.
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