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One of the things that everyone wants more of is confidence: Confidence when we’re talking with other people, confidence when we’re talking in groups, and confidence in ourselves. But we often think that confidence is something that we can buy off the shelf, it’s something that a coach can help you with, or it’s something you can turn on like a tap.
Neither of those is true. It’s actually a result of a process you need to go through. If you go through this process, you get confidence that lasts at the end, confidence that will stay with you forever. If you just try and turn it on like a tap, it lasts for a little time, and then it just dissipates and it goes away. I’m going to talk it through so you can apply it to your world.
The Problem
First of all, a disclaimer: this is not mine. Everything else I teach that I go through is stuff that I’ve created and specific frameworks I’ve helped clients with. I have helped people with this. I didn’t create it. Guy called Dan Sullivan who’s a great coach in the US, runs a programme called Strategic Coach. Look him up. Works with entrepreneurs. He’s really cool.
For me, when I first learned it, I learned it as a process. But then when I went to apply it, I actually learned that the difference is that you think about confidence as a result of a process rather than something that is a state in your mind like an emotion.
3 Phases To Improve Confidence
First of all, the first step in confidence is if you just look 12 months ahead, what are you truly going to commit to? What result do you want? What problem are you going to address? Just pick one and write it down. Then something interesting’s going to happen inside of you. You’re going to look at that problem, “I can’t do that. No. I’ve tried before, it failed. Didn’t work. It’s too hard. I’m too scared.”
So the second step with confidence is when you’ve built confidence in the past, at some point, you’ve had to have the courage to actually take the first step.
- Commit. So the first stage is to go, “You know what, I actually care enough about that result, enough about that problem, and I’m going to commit to doing it in the next 12 months.”
- Courage. The second is “I got enough courage to do something about this. I’m going to stop avoiding it. I’m going to go after it.” If you’ve got the courage and the commitment, you then, over time, will start to build the skills, the new ways of thinking, and the capabilities that are required to achieve the result.
- Capability. And those come from the process of that commitment and that courage. And it’s when we have these capabilities in place where we can truly just go, “You know what, I’ve been through the curve of knowing what was wrong, and I had the courage to fix it. And now I’ve had this in place for that 12 months,” can you truly say that “I am confident and ready to take on anything.”
Summary
- Confidence is a result of a process rather than something that is a state in your mind like an emotion.
- Confidence comes from these 3 phases – Commit, Courage, and Capability.
- We don’t want to fake confidence, we want a real one so we need to go through the process. Then you’ll get confidence that lasts, confidence that will stay with you forever.
Leave me a Comment or Get in Touch
So this is a process now for you to turn on your confidence. Love to hear about how you applied this to your work, to your personal life. Leave me a comment down below. Send me a note. Talk to you next time on The Reason and the Road.
